Tools and Treasures

I saw a picture posted as a memory of an event at our former warehouse studio and it brought out a wave of emotion and nostalgia that remained with me for hours.  In that picture were at least 10 items that I could see and name that I sold or gave away. I am not able to stop the thought that I will never see these things again. No, that’s not quite right. It’s not really about those “things” as much as what they represented. They were pieces of a whole. It’s kind of like looking at a picture of an object you have taken apart and identifying the screw or some other piece that was part of a whole. It was not the screw that bought back the memories, but the whole. Wait, that’s still not quite right. It was the environment that was created to accomplish something. It was the “WHOLE” that set the stage (literally, in this case) for an atmosphere that lent itself to the sharing and caring and development of relationships and gifts and talents.

So we might (or might not) have pinpointed the cause of my nostalgia wave.  Because in the post I saw, along with all of those identifiable items, the setting, the environment, and two people sharing a moment. At that moment, there was creativity, sharing, collaboration and love.  The love between two people, and the love for their Father.  Like sweet-smelling incense, their presence, their music, their creativity and their love rose up and then disappeared, but not before all present (including our Father) could get a whiff of that sweet aroma.

So what’s left after the song ends, the people step away, and the offering is complete? Some “things” that were tools, used for a limited time, set by the Creator.  Then we took it apart and moved on.

Thinking about this posted image took me to a second image. After dismantling everything, we took many of the tools and moved them to a new location. Some were re-used or re-cycled, and some sat idle for a year.

During this critical year, a lot happened. It is very easy for me to say that it was a very hard year on so many levels, and sometimes I can hardly breathe as I work through the grief.  But those things that we re-used again served to create an environment that at the very least served to help me through. Yes, it gets very personal now, and I can’t find another way.  The Lord gave ME a time to reflect, read, write, share and have moments of conversation, creativity and collaboration that will not soon be forgotten. I have often struggled with regrets that there wasn’t “more.” More time, more participants, more to show for all of the physical and mental effort. But this year was a personal step closer to the Father.

To measure experiences in terms of how many people participated, how much money was gained (or in our case, lost) or how much time and resources were “wasted” is wrong. But it’s so wired in, and such a part of our conversation that it’s very hard not to slip into that. We MUST learn to ask: were there moments when people connected, collaborated and created? When children do some creative endeavor, like drawing a picture, building a fort or singing a song - where do they run first? Typically, mommy and daddy. It’s not about how many hear or see our offering, but WHO sees.  

Back to things. I originally wrote this BEFORE I left the place that was given to me as a place to rest and recover. That certainly was not MY plan. My plan was to rebuild something like before. But HIS plan was to provide a place for a much smaller number of us - and me particularly - to have some new and different experiences, to realize other possibilities and sometimes connect with some others. Connections, offerings, moments. That’s all we ever have, and the tools were provided while we needed them.

Although I did not get around to sharing this BEFORE we actually left I wanted to record that I have no idea what happens next.  In reality, none of us ever know. We use the phrase “crash and burn” for a reason, and unfortunately I know of a real-life example of this. NONE of us know what’s next. Today, tomorrow, next year. So make the connections, use the opportunities that come your way to make yet another sweet-smelling offering to your Father.  “Daddy, look at me! This is for you!”  A smile and a hug that would melt any parent’s heart. That’s what we offer to our Father.  “Daddy, where are we going? I can’t imagine that. I don’t know what that looks like. But you’re taking me there and I’m happy to be with you.  Will it look like before? No? Well, can you describe it to me? Not yet? OK. Well, I’ll just walk along with  you and be surprised at the next place you’re taking me. Will I miss some of those things You’ve asked me to leave behind?  But you’ll let me keep some things as a reminder of those times?” 

My problem continues to be how many things to keep as reminders, or possible tools. Which things may prove to be more of a burden than a blessing? Help me discern what to keep and what to let go!  As I write this, I feel like letting go of so much more, but some things ARE important reminders of our story.  Without writing and reflecting, I can feel regret for almost everything that has already gone out the door. But as I look around now, I realize that those tools were provided in order to make the important connections, and that many of those tools may not be what is needed for the next chapter, and the new year.

After the Art Show

More than 25 years ago, my parents bought a modest mobile home in order to live near their grandkids. The previous owners left behind some furnishings, including two orange chairs. I call them “orange” because I’m not a painter so I speak in very basic terms. I’m sure a painter would need to do a lot more browning to try to capture the worn color that doesn’t seem to match anything created commercially. And they SQUEAK. No amount of WD-40 has any effect on the irritating sounds of protest that come from under these chairs. But it’s OK - as long as you don’t move!  Every morning, I am privileged to sit in the one that faces the big glass doors that give me a window into the back yard. I can see the bird bath and its visitors, the passion vine with ripening fruit and the butterflies that love to lay their eggs on it. I also have a good view of the lamppost that doesn’t give light because it has a thriving bee hive! Our lamppost reminds me of the Narnia story that has meant so much to so many of us over the years.

This morning I also have a view of the remains of our art show events. The tables are still in place and most of the art work is still there, with nametags of so many I am privileged to call my friends, my community - my family.  Although some of the faithful wanted to start cleaning it up last night - we were ALL exhausted, and I saw no reason to push any further. I’m glad for that decision, because now I can view it from a place of rest - from the orange chair! And instead of making lists of what has to be done to prepare for the events, I can just sit back and take it in. That’s what you’re supposed to do, right? Sit and look and think about the artwork and what went into the making of it. Isn’t it supposed to be as much about the process as the outcome?  I would like to read a story about each one - was it done in a class, as an assignment? Or maybe created for someone as a gift? I displayed some art - other people’s art - because it was gifted to ME, and I wanted to share who had given it to me.

For example, There is a piece of art painted by Kaci that depicts kintsugi. I was inspired and learned about that process by reading Art and Faith (Makoto Fujimura). Providentially, we have long based our work here on “GOLD” (Growth Opportunities for Learning and Development) - and then I learned that GOLD is used as part of the process of repairing precious things that have been broken. How amazingly appropriate! I know for a fact that at least some of the artwork on display has been created by lives that have been broken, and that art was part of the healing process. 

When “Talents Unleashed” became a place in Kendall, it became known for “performing arts.” Although we had a few art classes, our teaching and sharing efforts were mostly focused on music and movement, and then some efforts to preserve our experiences through photography and videography. With the move to “TU Casa” in Homestead, and a number of other life events, our performing efforts have become much quieter, at least for a season. And what happened during that quiet time? More artists appeared - and some who have been around, but in the shadows, are stepping out and revealing their gifts and talents. Would we have seen them without the pause in our regular routine?  I doubt it. We’re like kids - having so much fun with our creative play - and Dad wants to show us something - wants to get us to stop and look at something cool.  But first we have to STOP and listen, and look and learn!

The idea at TU Casa is to build a creative community where we can STOP and listen, and look and learn. Listen to each other. Spend time face to face. Look at all God has created and put for us to appreciate. Learn from others how to grow and develop the creativity that our Creator has put in us as a reflection of His essence. Create, love, share, grow.

I had to shift positions and the squeak is ignored by my sweet dog, Daisy. People know her as the hyper rescue who can’t stop barking with excitement every time someone walks in - even if they just left the room for a few moments. But now she is at peace - in the other orange chair. She is oblivious to the fact that there is an outline of a dead body on the floor under the art displays. 

I just love that. You can’t see chalk on a white floor (I’m sorry, Lord, but white floors? How is that a blessing?) I digress.  So the body outline is done with blue painter’s tape and was initially covered with the “tiger rug” that two young men provided for the music and recording room. (Don’t worry, guys, it’ll be back in place before you know it. If you don’t read this, you’ll never know…) I love that Katherine took it upon herself to write the entire event - more than 95 pages - so that we could each receive a role and improvise our way through the “whodunnit” at the art gallery!  I love that after it was “solved” that so many people just stayed and talked and laughed, putting away the perishable foods and enjoying each other’s company  - and without depending on their phones for distraction.

I’m sorry, but I HAVE to tell you about the food!  I totally broke my special diet in order to experience everything. A still life scene with real food, a painter’s palette with colorful dips, a vase of colorful cupcake flowers and an edible depiction of van Gogh’s “Starry Night” - to name just a few!  But I must also mention the cookie palettes and the pretzel paint brushes! Culinary arts - almost too beautiful to eat - but eat, we did, and it was a bountiful and delicious feast!

So we had an art show. What about music? Oh, we had that, too!  Our own beloved Emily made the trek with her beautiful bouncing baby, Thomas, and reminded us how much we love to hear her sing. We have missed her voice - singing and laughing - and it was every bit like a holiday when you finally get the family back together. It was over too quickly, as it often feels when distant family comes to visit so of course plans were made to get together again - soon!

The rain is about to drop again, and it looks so lush and tropical out there. Time for another cup of coffee. It’s soon going to be time to get out the calendar and start planning for “what’s next.” But I’m content to sit for a little longer, reflecting on the time together, and asking the Lord for more. More time together, more to join us in conversation, more to find an outlet for developing their creative gifts. More family time.

It's About Time

One year, Vessels of GOLD and the parallel studio group put together a show about “Time.” It was pretty hard work and stressful, but included some great ideas. This year, Vessels Vault is revisiting the show and putting their own personalities and thoughts into it. The show opens with, “Does Anybody Really Know what Time it is?” (Our show orders always said “DARK.”)

Time is one of those things we call “precious” because we feel we don't have enough of it. We waste it, save it, spend it, use it, find it, make it, eat it, savor it, and take the time to think of our own phrases. We’re pressed for time but we always pursue more of it! To our last day, we try to figure out how to make the most of what has been given to us - and time is at the top of that list.

To some, it is so precious that we refuse to be rushed. “If I’m late, I’m late, but I’m going to enjoy this moment.” To others, life is always a rush and we’re always in too much of a hurry to stop and smell the roses - or the home-cooked meal, or the petrichor after an afternoon rain. Most of us are somewhere in between - trying to balance by stopping for a moment, taking a picture, or a breath, or a listen - and then rushing on.

Where is the balance? I think it’s not to be had. The Lord has given us an earth full of beauty and creativity and opportunities and frustration and pain and abundance and need and stopping and starting. If we just didn’t have to sleep - but what a blessing it is to get a “restart” each and every day, and not just when the calendar changes. We lean to one side and then the other and maybe for just a small moment we think we have found that balance and then something pushes us one way or another and there we go trying to stay on the tightrope of life.

At TU, we are often driven by the calendar and the clock. We must plan ahead, but leave room for the spontaneous opportunities that will undoubtedly surprise us along the way. We plan a show, but leave room for a great improv moment that leaves a lasting impression. We plan a camp, knowing that what we achieve in that week will include bits of each individual the Lord has thrown in together at that particular time.

Where am I going? Around and around, looking from all angles. The importance of time, the importance of people. In our rehearsals, we don’t present a script that everyone can learn on their own and walk in to perform. It’s the collaboration and the cooperation and the unique qualities of each cast member that turns out a creative, never-to-be repeated “product” shared with a one-of-a-kind/one-at-a-time audience. The individuals with their own circumstances walk through the door and give their time to influence and be influenced by all those around.

Time together is important, so being present is important, so being on time is important. Are there exceptions? Always. We worked through a pandemic shutdown. It was different. Hopefully not an experience to ever be repeated, but a time to be creative nonetheless. Even that required being “there” and on time. The other day we spent TWO hours going from the studio, and then back past the studio to go east in order to go south in order to go west to get home. Things happen. In that case, someone actually died at the daily-passed Country Walk intersection. Be careful out there. One morning I was rear-ended and missed an entire rehearsal. More recently I broke my scalp and missed a rehearsal. Things happen that disrupt our plans and our “time.” But not every day. Not every week. We can live in this crowded city and make good use of the time given to us.

We know that the GPS can only estimate travel time, but never accounts for the wreck or the real effects of construction in the calculation. “But I don’t want to get there too early.” Why not? Get there early and then take some quiet moments - inside or outside. Coffee, an audio book, a conversation, a song - things that might not happen if it’s just “run to the car, bring your breakfast, get dressed along the way, have a hurried conversation, get out quick - RUN!!! You’re late! I’ll order you some food.”

Why not, hey, if we get there early, we’ll go together and pick out some good food at the grocery store, and have a little breakfast while we’re at it? Why not pretend that you need to be everywhere ½ hour before you really need to be there? We think that half hour of sleep will make the difference. Maybe. Maybe not. Did you not get enough sleep because of sickness, worry, a critical conversation? Maybe. Was it watching one more in a binge or maybe a “quick check” of your social media? (Is anyone able to do a “quick check” and does it lead to a restful sleep?) Build in some padding and enjoy the extra time - when you get it - as an unexpected gift to yourself, your family, our Holy Friend. Then when the real unexpected happens - well, you still get to be there (usually) and give and receive the time together.

Does anybody really know what time it is? Time to make the most of the time that’s been given to us.